My last post

Hey!

Here we are people, this is finally my last post and my blog finishes with it.
What can I tell you about the changes my life has made between my first post in 2006 until my last one in 2008? Well, I think that I somehow have made an important change, not really phisically, but I've changed a lot in my way of being and behaving, just because in this two years of Batxillerat I've started to make new experiences, to learn things about life and people that I had never expected.
But well, life is not easy, we all know this, and maybe that's why people should share their experiences and thoughts, maybe that's why we all should work together and create a better world, beyond all these false and terrible people... Maybe kind of an utopic idea don't you think?
Anyway, with these words I finish my last post, which is maybe the shortest one of all this two years of Batxillerat... I don't really know what to say. I'm somehow really happy to have finished this year, but on the other side I also feel quite sad about this... maybe because I don't really like big changes, although they're often necessary.
I hope you have enjoyed reading a little about my life this years and I hope this has helped you to know me a little better. (this is specially for you, Lourdes, because I don't think that much people have read what I wrote ;))
take care!
a big kiss!

The last weeks...

Hi!

Yes, yes... This second Batxillerat course is already finishing. It seems that it was just yesterday when we started again in September, without knowing what was waiting for us in this second year... Well, I think many people will agree with me when I say that this year was quite a strange year, basically because it was so short and different than the others that are behind us. It was sometimes hard to keep working, and it was also difficult to go on. But in the end I have to say that probably everyone of us has enjoyed this year, not only because of the new experiences we've made, but because of the people we were in class as well. I know that I haven't been always happy with them, with what they did o how they behaved, but in the end I really have realized that I somehow appreciate them and that I'll surely never forget these two years.
But well, it's also important to make changes sometimes, to make new experiences and to make a step into a new way of living, to change some things in our every day routine.
Anyway, what I really wanted to say is that I've really enjoyed this year, even if it was sometimes quite hard; but in the end, I'm sure everyone will miss this time. Even if we think this year was one of the hardest in our lives, in fact it was only the beginning of the step to working life...
see ya!
xxx

I need sport!!!

Hi!

Today I'm not very inspired so this post might be not very long...
I've been thinking a lot the last days about taking up a sport again. You know, I played tennis for nearly two years , but I had to stop doing it , although I enjoyed it a lot, because of some personal problems I had with someone working there. Well, that was now about 9 months ago and I have to admit that I really miss to play... It's difficult to describe, but somehow this sport always helped me to disconnect from everything. It's very strange, but when I play I think about nothing and I can only concentrate on the game.
Anyway, even if I would start again now to play it would be very strange to be there again, just because the person who made me break up with it won't be no longer there and I would surely have to think about him a lot. You know, this person has really hurted me, and was about (this is not a joke) to destroy my whole life... I don't know if you know what I mean but I'm sure that, by going there again, to this place were HE used to be, I'll start to remember everything that happened... I'm not sure if this may be such a good idea. I don't want myself to feel as I felt during this time again. No way.
But anyway, I'll have to think about it. Maybe it's something like a fight with myself that I have to win, a fight with the past and with forgotten emotions and feelings... Maybe I should give the past a rest and try to go there again. Who knows...
see ya my dears!
xxx

My Summer '08

Hi everyone!

Yes, the curse is finishing and it's time to start planning my Summer. Well, I guess I won't have a lot of time this Summer to do much, but this does not mean that I won't enjoy it. The first things which are already planned are my trips to Paris, hopefully in June (cross your fingers!!) and to Germany probably in August or something. I'm really looking forward for it because I LOVE travelling and I simply need to leave the country I live in from time to time, I don't know if this is normal or if it's just a "normal thing" for me... Who knows. Anyway, the trip to Paris was a present from my parents for my 18th birthday, and it was actually planned for Easter Holiday, but I finally went to Andalusia during this time. I'm very excited about this trip and I can't wait for it. I've always wished to travel to Paris, I just love the city!!! The Louvre, the Tour Eiffel, Notre Dame, Sacre-Coeur... everything's so beautiful! And one of the best things is also that I'm travelling there with my boyfriend, and it will be the first trip we do completely alone =)
The trip to Germany will be the usual one: visit one of my best friends, Nathalie in the town were I was born, Bonn. But this time I'm also travelling to Munich, were my sister and his husband live, to stay there for 3 or 4 days. I'm also looking forward for this because I've never been in this town and I've also always wanted to go there.
A part from that I'll also take my driving liscence and work in a bar as last year. I'm sure it will be a great Summer!
See you and take care!!
xxx

The doctor's calling..!

Hey, hey!

Here I am, back again after holidays (well, actually a month later...). I don't know why it always takes such a long time until I write to you, but as you can probably imagine we've already started with the exams, so I was stressed out as usual -.- I really need to calm down! Thank God it's Friday today, buff >.<
This afternoon I'm going to the doctor because I haven't felt well at all since last Saturday. It happened at night, at about three o'clock in the morning, when I stood up to go for a glass of water. Suddenly, as I stood in the kitchen I suddenly started to feel terrible, like dizzy and sick. I sat down for a while but it didn't help, so I went back to the bedroom to lie down, but I hadn't completely reached the door when I suddenly fainted. The next thing I remember is myself lying on the ground, sweating, and with my boyfriend next to me, calling my name, trying to wake me up. It was really a shocking moment, but I'm sure that more for him than for me... Anyway, since this moment I feel sick nearly every day, and that's why I finally decided to go to the doctor this afternoo. Let's see what he says :S
See you my dears! and take care ;-)
xxx

My future

Oh dear... my future... what can I tell you about my future?

Well, at the moment I really have to say that my future is still like a small, grey way, where you can see no ending. Ok, perhaps I could describe my situation like this: the present, the moment I live now, is like a way, a green beautiful but also a little hard way on which I am walking and walking without stopping. But suddenly, this way comes to an end and it becaomes two ways, one on the left and one on the right. This would symbolize the end of Batxillerat and the situation in which I'll be a few weeks from now. Well, what was I saying? Ah, yes, the ways. The problem is that these two ways show no ending and there is nobody who can tell me which way leads to success, to the life I would like to have; nor which way would be the best for me. So it's only my decision which way I go, and it's also my decision what I do with it...
Ok, let's leave the symbols and speak claerly: my problem is that I'm at a point that I think a lot about my future, specially at University, just because I feel again a bit insecure. The fact is that I would like to study Audiovisual Communication (which is basically like Journalism but has more to do with production) and Publicity/PR... I'm sure that I would like both of them, but each one has advantatges and disadvantatges. If I chose the first one I had to go to Barcelona, and for the second one I could stay in Girona, which is nearer to my home... Conclusion: I'm completely lost! What can I do?! (...) "You will succeed anyway, Jenny, it doesn't matter what you do!" says my father, but hey, my whole future may depend on this decision and I'm not so sure if I'm really able to be successfull with everything although I try to work hard...
Well, there would also be the possibility to comine those degrees...
bye bye

xxx

Finally holidays!!!

Hi everyone!!

Today has finally been the last day before Easter Holidays! Oh, how I was waiting for this day to arrive..! Really, it's quite impossible to imagine how hard this last weeks have been for everyone of us. It was just yesterday when I looked in my classmates faces and I cannot remember having ever seen them looking as they did during this last week. In every face was such a tiredness! But anyway, now this "going arround like a Zombie"-time is over and we have a little more than one week to relax.
I still don't know if I'm going to go somewhere these days, but it's possible that I go with my boyfriend to Andalusia, because he wanted to introduce me to a part of his family. Well, I would really like to go there, even if I'm sure that I'll feel quite uncomfortable and insecure during the first meeting, but I think this is normal isn't it?
Anyway, this afternoon I'm meeting my best friend and I'm really waiting for it because I nearly haven't talked to her for a few weeks and we have to tell each other loads of things. You know, she's something like my sister basically because we know each other for more or less 12 years, since our first day of school, and we've been really good friends since then. Yes, I've been through many difficult situations with her and this has made our friendship become so special.
Ok my dears I leave you ok? I wish you the best for this Easter Holidays !!!!
see ya!
xxx

A little poem for you ;-)

When most I wink, then do mine eyes best see,
For all the day they view things unrespected;
But when I sleep, in dreams they look on thee,
And darkly bright are bright in dark directed.

Then thou, whose shadow shadows doth make bright,
How would thy shadow's form form happy show
To the clear day with thy much clearer light,
When to unseeing eyes thy shade shines so!

How would, I say, mine eyes be blessed made
By looking on thee in the living day,
When in dead night thy fair imperfect shade
Through heavy sleep on sightless eyes doth stay!

All days are nights to see till I see thee,
And nights bright days when dreams do show thee me.

William Shakespeare, Sonnet XLIII

Selfish people... Aren't we all a bit like them?

Hey,
today was quite a hard day at school... Basically because it's Tuesday and we have classes until 6 p.m. and after that we still have to study. Anyway, I could say that I'm quite "lucky" because I only have one exam tomorrow, Maths, while other people have two or three. So I really can't complain ;-)
But I actually wanted to write you some other things which have nothing to do with school. I'm seeing every day more how people are getting more and more selfish, and how people prefer thinking and talking about theirselves instead of worrying about other people or things. Well, on the one hand this is good because in the present society you almost NEED to be quite selfish to be successful, but on the other hand we have to say that there is one clear limit. Being only worried about yourself can mostly be very bad, because people notice this very soon. Someone who always wants to be the centre of the world is normally not really liked by others. Well, I think everyone of us knows such a person and many of us are also a bit like them. Of course there are moments in life when you really need to think about yourself and about YOUR life and trying to focus only on your own problems, but if you do this all the time it can be quite bad. On the other hand, if you don't ever think about yourself , and only about others, it's nearly as bad as what I've commented before. I think this is a little my case... even if I hope that it's not SO bad yet. My basic problem is that I prefer to think about others than about myself, this means that I do what I can to make people happy, even if this means that I have to do something that I don't like, or that makes me unhappy. I don't understand where this way of thinking can come from, but I've noticed more than once that it can be a seriuos problem, even if at first sight it seems a very positive thing...
Anyway, I gotta leave you.
See you my dears!
xxx

The unfairness of some of us...

Hi there,
The truth is that I don't really know what to tell you in this post, and I promise that I've been thinking a lot about it before I started to write... No ideas anyway! But well, I would lie if I said that there isn't anything new that worries me at the moment, because, in fact, there is something I haven't stopped thinking about since this morning. Well, the problem is actually not mine, it's more another girl's one, but I'm quite worried about her because I see how other people treat and talk about her. I don't pretend to change anything with this post, and I'm not going to tell any name either, but I really think that people should really stop acting this way.
I've been in her class for many years and I could see how every year more people have laughed more and more at her way of being and behaving. "But why do people do this?"-have I always asked myself. Well, I think basically because they can't really understand that some people are not like them, and that there are some people who are maybe shier than them or who just don't think the same way as they do. I'm not going to say that I haven't ever laughed at anybody or treat anybody in an unfair way, but hey, we're nearly 18 years old and I think we're at a point to change this. This girl feels every time worse about these comments, and it's normal that she'll get more nervous and insecure if people continue treating her like their do. I'm not saying that everyone has to like her or to be her friend, no, I would only like some people to think a little before they do things like these, I only want them to put themselves into her situation and guess how they'd feel if they were her...
Sorry for this post, I don't want to go against anybody but I had to say this. It's my point of view and I hope you respect it...

see ya!

ill...

Hi,

today was not really a good day for me, even if I didn't had what we could call "real bad luck". No, the point was actually that I didn't feel well at all (I've got a terrible cold :S) and was just sitting there in class, counting every single minute to go finally home. A part from this, I did my presentation in English today, about my research paper (again -.-), and I didn't have any problems (a part of my little illness...). But anyway, this wasn't a normal presentation, it was the last one I'd do this year. On the one side it's cool, 'cause I can now concentrate better on the other work I have, but on the other side it feels quite strange... It's like another step to the end of the curse. I can't really find the words to explain how I felt when I finished the presentation this morning...
Ok, what else can I tell you? That I've just taken a look at the pictures I still had on my PC and I found a lot from my holidays in Germany last Summer. I've really noticed that I miss all my friends there a lot and I'm really looking forward to travel there as soon as possible!
Leave you already :)
see ya!
xxx

The research paper is done!!!!

Hi everyone!
First of all I gotta say SORRY that I haven't written for such a long time... I had actually promised myself not to leave everything with the blog for the last minute, as I sadly had to do in the last term, but as you see, I'm a bit late again..! Anyway, I'm sure you can imagine why I didn't really find a minute to write you a few lines, right? Because I was doing like every student of second Batxillerat the well-known research paper. Well, even if it was an incredible amount of work (basically because my tutor was very strict and was never really happy with the things I had done) now I can proudly say that I've finished it!!!!! Yes, two days ago was the presentation of the research-project and I think I did quite well, teachers only told me positive things about my work and they didn't even ask questions. Really, I went bananas when I came out of this classroom one minute after the exposition I started jumping and dancing in the middle of the corridors... I was so happy to have finished all this! And more than everything, I was really proud of myself and the 230 pages I had written, just because, at the beginning, my tutor didn't really help me with anything.
Ok my dears, gotta leave you already. I wish you a very nice weekend!
xxx